twenty | pregnancy | personal

Halfway there. Truly, I can’t believe it. It seems like only yesterday Garrison and I were on our Anniversary road trip, and we were 8 weeks along. And now here we are! Halfway there to meeting Peeper, and I can. not. wait.

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I’m not sure what it is about reaching 20 weeks that has me so excited, but I’m stinking excited, y’all. I’ve been feeling the baby move since just shy of 15 weeks, small little butterfly flutters, but at 19 weeks the little kicks started and as distracting as they are, because they pull me into daydream lala babyland, I absolutely love them. It feels like popcorn popping in my belly. Peeper moves a lot, especially after I eat or when I’m laying down in the evening. The first time we both got to feel Peeper move from the outside was the night Garrison was baptized. God’s gifts are amazing and abundant.

We chose not to find out whether Peeper is a boy or girl. Ever since we got married and dreamed about our life with babies, we both knew we wanted to wait on the gender. Both of our parents waited, along with some of our sisters/sister-in-laws, and there is just something so appealing to us about hearing the doctor say “it’s a …!” and not knowing what the end of the sentence is going to be. We never felt like we would miss out on any of the planning by not knowing—I wanted a gender neutral nursery anyway, and all expensive baby items we purchased would be gender neutral for (Lord willing) future children. We have our suspicions on what Peeper is, along with the vast majority of both of our huge families voting the same way, so if we’re all wrong we’re in for one fun surprise! 

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We praise God and are so thankful for reaching 20 weeks with Peeper. We gave our first baby, Peep, to Jesus three days before Christmas last year. I sit here with tear-filled eyes thinking about that heartbreaking time in our lives. We’d only known about Peep for 3 weeks, but in that time we had fallen so quickly in love. In those 3 weeks I prayed constantly for a healthy baby, and even in our loss, I am thankful that I never once felt as though God didn’t answer my prayer. It was just the opposite. I knew that He had. He took Peep to a place where he/she would be eternally healthy, something that He must have known wouldn’t happen here on earth. That simple mindset helped me heal, it helped me not feel angry about God taking His child from us. Though I’ll be honest, what a difficult time of year to be in mourning. Christmas, New Year’s, and my birthday were a sad, dark time, but our Father was faithful in our sorrow. He immediately rained down blessings that we just as quickly grasped on to--a wonderful Sunday School class and small group where I was introduced to women who’d been through and openly shared similar experiences, and a deeper love and understanding between Garrison and I brought only closer by experiencing a shared loss.

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And then, before we knew it and quite surprisingly, Peeper entered our lives. We kept it quiet for a long time, barely even speaking about it with each other, but both of us in constant prayer. Then 10 weeks hit and we had a perfect first doctor’s appt. Then 13, when we joyfully entered the second trimester, then 17, where we received a wonderful ultrasound report of a healthy baby, and now 20. Halfway there, feeling baby kick, and enjoying every second of decorating a nursery. I’m thankful to have experienced no sickness or nausea whatsoever. What a blessing it’s been to be able to enjoy the pregnancy from the very beginning! My tummy is slowly getting somewhere, although I’m still in all my normal clothes {I’m extremely excited about the day I get to put on my first maternity shirt}, my belly button is deciding whether or not it wants to pop out, and we’re so very thankful to God for the joy He has placed in our lives.

Here’s to the next 20 weeks, little Peeper! May you keep growing healthy and strong. We are so in love with you and can’t wait to meet you. Our precious little son or daughter.

The Gender Game

While we didn't find out the gender, if you'd like to play a little guessing game here’s my answers to some old wives tales. While I don't take their answers to heart {I think they’re right 50% of the time ;D} they're fun to play with!

Have I had any morning sickness? None whatsoever

Do I want more salty or sweet? Salty. I used to be a chocoholic. Now I don’t want it! If I want candy, give me the sour stuff! Starbursts are my new favorite treat.

Am I carrying high or low? When I'm wearing clothes it looks like I'm carrying high, but when I'm in my birthday suit, baby is low.

Is husband gaining any weight? No, he is not

What is the baby’s heartbeat? At our 20 week appt it ranged from 130-150.

Have I had any skin problems {acne}? No

Have my hands been more soft or dry? Dry {though I link that to the increase in bathroom trips…}

What have I craved? The first trimester I wanted orange juice and milk. I’m not craving anything recently.

Have I been more clumsy or graceful? Clumsy :/